When in doubt, write on a big piece of paper.
Apparently, the cure for my case of just-can't-do-it was to crouch down on the ground and write. There are a few reasons why this was the best idea ever:
1. The big piece of blank paper doesn't have the internet. The internet is the biggest procrastination tool in my box. Take it away (Really far. Like a whole different room.) and I can get a whole lot done.
2. The big white piece of paper feels like a brainstorming tool. It totally tricked my brain into thinking I was just brainstorming, not actually writing, like I do when I write in notebooks.
3. The big white piece of paper doesn't have lines. I could have written in a circle had I wanted to. The possibilities are endless.
4. It was really uncomfortable writing while crouching. I was cold. The floor was uncomfortable. Both of these things motivated me to write faster. This time, rather than bumping up against the writer's block in my head moving slowly and sedately, I charged at it going 60mph. I blew the whole thing down. Best. Feeling. Ever.